What a fucking waste of an outfit
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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