im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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