Sponge bath it is.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I know her cup size but not her name....
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