I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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