so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
