I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
