And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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