She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Your dad touched me again.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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