I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize