Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
