you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
