Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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