I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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