Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
