i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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