he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
