What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
