theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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