im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
