Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
