She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
