What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
my liver is dry heaving
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
