and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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