I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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