She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize