I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
