she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize