peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
