How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
