Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
