I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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