Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
