you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
