I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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