So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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