24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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