check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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