Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
