out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
