id be glad to
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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