I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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