If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We are two peas in an std pod
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
