They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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