I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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