are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize