Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
