for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
