Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize