So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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