i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
