I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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