I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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