I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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