even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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