Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
