so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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