It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize