and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
